WSJ x Finance: Is “Asking” Hard?: Women in Negotiations

By, Lalana Karri (W’ 26), Edited by Nina Rawal (W’27)

Have you ever been afraid to raise your hand? Are you scared to tell your male boss something at an internship? Or even advocate for yourself?

Most women have been in that position. Due to their long-lasting history and societal limitations, women are quoted to be “frail,” “hesitant,” and sometimes even “inferior.” Because of this, women follow a long tradition of not wanting to be bothersome, which inhibits our empowerment.

Many articles call this phenomenon the Women’s Confidence gap: the over-flowing self-doubt we face in every stage of our lives. For example, a woman may have worked hard and earned a promotion. However, her response was not one of joy; instead, it was a question of why she got the promotion. 

Whether it be in their careers or their personal lives, this confidence gap ultimately holds women back. While this is easier said than done, we must empower one another to speak up and exert our capabilities. As women, we often don't speak up for ourselves when negotiating our wants, salaries, and needs. Men don't usually feel this confidence gap, so we see them sweeping leadership positions in all corporate facilities.

Women’s inability to negotiate could be the root issue for why this mindset still persists.  A research study co-authored by Penn professors Corinne Low and Huang found that when they put women and men into groups to split 20 dollars, the men were greatly assertive and took more. Men are more hostile and dominant in their verbal and nonverbal communication styles, in turn causing women to back down. 

This clearly highlights the phenomenon of the confidence gap I was talking about earlier. We see this in everyday work culture playing out in jobs. When it comes to an offer, we see men asking for a considerable pay rate, whereas women are not aggressive and are happy with what they get. Clearly, with this study, maybe not the aggression, but that confidence and internal dominance helped men be better negotiators. It is a mindset that women need to adopt.

Now, women negotiating for themselves is a necessity, right?

We know negotiating is essential, and believe women need to do more of it. However, ironically, it was recently revealed that now, women actually negotiate more than men but still have smaller salaries.

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Many women have started understanding that negotiating is essential. They start connecting to women in their companies and finding the very few in higher leadership positions. They have formed connections, ERGs, and support systems to help lift and give one another advice, similar to Wharton Women. This type of support and advice helps women ask for things they want while having some security.

But, even with negotiating more, why are women still getting the worse end of the stick?

Well, it all comes down to the business system. The system promoted men easily because of the long-insinuated belief that men would be more promising candidates for leadership, given historical trends, no maternity leave, or less responsibility for child care. It is a systematic issue. So, while many women try this method of negotiating and asking, it is not widespread and may be ineffective if not done right. But the intention and effort will always be worth it!

So what can we as Women do?

Well, these stereotypes and historical trends will always be there. So, someone has to start first. One woman advocating for themselves will inspire many others to do the same. It is also critical in that process to be healthily assertive about what you expect. If there is a suggestion you want to make, make it and have evidence; if you want a higher salary, don't hesitate; if you need a break, take one. 

If you are not sure about what you want to ask, consult your peers in other positions, companies, organizations, friends, and even family. Hearing advice can also be a great source, whether with wording something or if you need guidance about something at work. Especially in some sectors, particularly corporate America, this mindset is equalizing more, although nowhere close yet, so it is vital for women in business to start making these changes from the get-go when they enter the industry. These are simple but proactive ways to negotiate for yourself.

The most important thing is just to ASK next time! What’s the worst that can happen, a no?